- Timely. Give feedback as close to the event as possible, but choose the right time: when the person is likely to be receptive.
- Behaviours. Have specific, clear, examples of behaviours (which can be objectively observed), not traits or emotions.
- Impact. Describe the impact of behaviours. Keep it relevant by aligning the feedback with the goal / objective.
- Request. Make a specific actionable request (not a demand) for behaviour changes, or ask questions about current behaviour. Use positive language, highlight successful behaviours and techniques..
- Ready. Provide context for the feedback you’re asking for. Say what you want feedback on. Set expectations and boundaries. Explain what you’re trying to achieve.
- Receive. Listen closely. Don’t analyse or judge, don’t make assumptions.
- Reflect. Ask clarifying questions. Take notes so you remember what was said and why.
- Respond. Decide if you want to act on the feedback. You don’t have to decide immediately.
Praise and criticism
- in public;
- specific and sincere;
- include a challenge.
- in private;
- kind (long-term best, not short-term easiest) and clear;
- humble, helpful, in person.
Four types of feedback
- Positive and expected: Something we already know we do well.
- Positive and unexpected: Something we don’t know we’re doing well.
- Negative and expected: Something we already know we could improve.
- Negative and unexpected: Something we didn’t know we could improve.
Feedback with the most emotional power
- A domain we care about
- An area we feel uncertain about
What Makes Criticism So Sticky?
- Feedback sandwiches tend not to work.
- In low stress states, we take feedback better. (In particular: no feedback before a performance is best)
- Our mindset, expectations, and current psychological state impact how we interpret feedback.
- Get people out of protect and defend mode and into a more responsive and open mode, and only then deliver criticism.